Mixing Out Blog

Category: Food For Thought

  • Your Summer Perfectly Summed Up in 4 Massive Fails

    the-summer-of-george-meme

    Did you ever see that Seinfeld episode The Summer of George? We didn’t think so, seeing as you most probably watched Friends in the 90’s. But for the handful of you who DID see it, you’ll know exactly what we mean when we say every summer can be perfectly summed up by all things you never got around to.

    As for everybody else, here’s your summer perfectly summed up in 4 massive fails.

    1. Do you even lift?

    Every summer you tell yourself you’re going to bulk up or cut down and get shredded. Well I’m sorry, friend, but it’s not going to happen. Three weeks into the summer and you won’t have done any exercise since your last workout, which coincidently was your first workout, and also your last.

    By the time October rolls around you’ll realise you haven’t gained or lost anything, you’re exactly where you were to begin with. And you’ll make it your resolution for the new year to start the entire Mobius strip (go look it up) again, and again, and again.

    2. Book some time not to read

    Forget about those classics you wanted to get acquainted with, you won’t even get around to cracking the spine – more like cracking open another boxset on Netflix. Instead you’ll order something from Amazon’s Most Popular List at best.

    The characterisation will be terrible, the story will involve a murder/relationship/family secret told from several perspectives, tracking back and forth between two different time periods, and it will include a prologue written in the first-person. You’re better off not bothering.

    3. Going nowhere

    Thinking about visiting all those places you’ve always wanted to go? Well, you’ll look them up on the internet and settle for the view on Google Maps instead.

    The only thing you’re going to see this summer is everybody else showing off where they’ve been, on Facebook. Maybe they’ve just got more free time than you… or maybe they have no job, unlimited funds, and more energy than you.

    4. The 101 that got away

    A summer romance would definitely be the highlight of your year, whether you’re currently in a  relationship or not. Unfortunately this isn’t an episode of Dawson’s Creek, or a One Direction song, this is real-life and you won’t find time to meet the temporary love of your life between all those boxsets you’ll be watching and all the places you won’t be visiting.

    Sure, you’ll see the potential trysts in every beautiful-looking, sweet-smelling, revealingly-dressed passer by on the sun-soaked streets, but you won’t do anything about it. You may as well be looking at other people on television.

  • Monday Not-so-Funday: 7 Thoughts You Have at the Start of Every Week

    sleeeping-while-drinking-coffee

    So it’s another Monday, probably the least appealing day of the week. Sure, it doesn’t have all the drudgery of a Wednesday, and Thursdays are practically useless, but it’s still got to be everybody’s most hated all of weekdays. Unless it’s a Bank Holiday, then it rules.

    Here are 7 thoughts we all have every Monday.

    Is it really Monday already?

    Like Christmas, Mondays seem to crop up out of nowhere, although it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise seeing as though there are roughly 52 of them every year. The main shocker being that the weekend is up already – what did you do with it, where did all go?

    Just a few more minutes sleep…

    Maybe if you close your eyes and snooze for ten more minutes, it will stave the rest of the day off for what will hopefully seem like hours. And it often does, hours of half-conscious, groggy regret.

    Why didn’t I go to bed earlier?

    Remember when you were little and your parents made you go to bed early on a Sunday? Well, obviously there was a good reason for it.

    That YouTube/Netflix binge you had last night, squeezing every last drop out of your weekend, has come with a trade-off. Now you would have given anything for your mum to have marched around at 8pm to shove you off upstairs.

    I’d pay anything not to get up

    Maybe there’s some sort of option where you don’t turn up for work and they simply subtract it from your pay? Oh yes, there is, and it’s called unemployment.

    I’ve never had so much to do as I have right now

    Monday always bring with it a whole new list of things that need doing, typically carried over from the previous week. But you just know that today is definitely going to be busiest of all Mondays.

    This is going to be a long week

    If you live for the weekend then today is definitely not your day, and the rest of the week is only going to drag more and more, like sitting in a traffic jam on the way to Alton Towers.

    Tonight, pub

    There’s no question about it, as soon as the clock strikes half-past four, you’re out that office and straight dow the pub. After all, you haven’t had chance to unwind with your mates for a whole day.

     

  • And The Results Are In: Who Did Your Friends Vote For?

    Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past few months, or rather hiding under one to avoid the relentless coverage and annoying memes, you will undoubtably know there was an election earlier this week. Yesterday, in fact. And the results are pouring in as I’m writing this post.

    But who did your friends vote for? Does it really matter, and should you even care? Well, if you’re friends are anything like ours, ‘shaming’ you into voting with motivational Facebook updates (yawn), then we think it’s very important!

    So in the interest of cutting certain friends out of your social circle and forming new alliances with people you never imagined shared similar views, we’ve put together a few points to consider.

    You’re out for a few drinks. Your friend orders…

    a. A pint of bitter the colour of the treacle, with a head of cream like a Walls 99.

    b. A bottle of something imported. The label looks more pricey than the one inside your shirt.

    c. Larger. Simples.

    d. Cosmopolitan.

    Your friend does the weekly shop at…

    a. Farmers markets, for everything, including clothes.

    b. Marks and Spencer.

    c. Used to be Tesco, now Lidl.

    d. All of the above

    You decide to watch a film. You’re friend suggests…

    a. James Bond, of course!

    b. Bond. All the way.

    c. Bond.

    d. Something with little dialogue, scores of orchestral music and sweeping shots of flowery scenery.

    You take a peak at your friend’s phone, the wall paper is…

    a. James Bond, of course!

    b. Just the colour grey.

    c. FHM cover girl.

    d. A picture of their pet.

    Results: UKIP, mainly a’s. Conservative, mainly b’s. Labour, mainly c’s. Lib Dem, mainly d’s. It’s a tie, no surprise really, they’re all the same.

  • 6 Signs You Need to Go Out and Start Having Fun

    It’s nice to get some downtime now and again, but when things start to go awry you know it’s time to get up off the sofa and have some fun outside. In case you can’t tell the difference between a day off and a write-off, here’s 6 signs to look out for:

    You’re surfing channels like an Australian pro

    Whatever‘s on television, it’s not something you want to watch. As a result, you’re constantly flicking over, surfing channels like an Australian pro, in the hopes of landing on something that might interest you in the slightest.

    Sadly you’ve either seen it before, seen it too many times, or can’t stand Holly Willoughby.

    Wikipedia is more enthralling than you remember

    Whether or not it’s a credible source of information doesn’t matter, all of a sudden Wikipedia is the most enthralling thing on the Internet – scratch that, the world!

    Instead of actually reading whatever is at the top of Amazon’s bestseller list, or investing days in a Breaking Bad boxset, you’re glimpsing over the synopsis in a fraction of the time.

    Everybody else is having fun, obviously

    You can’t be sure, and without resorting to Facebook there is no way to prove it – but you’re fairly certain everybody in the world is having a better time than you.

    For the first time in forever, you feel guilty about not exercising

    Usually you couldn’t care less about how many sit-ups you can do, or that your arms aren’t quite ‘big’ enough, but for some reason this is really eating away at you today. You should be pumping iron, eating protein, piling on the muscle. Everybody else is winning at fitness and you’re just a scrawny, out of shape weakling!

    It’s 2am and you’re still on Wikipedia

    You don’t know how it’s happened, but somehow you’ve found yourself on a Wiki page detailing the last recorded witch-burning. Why this interests you, you cannot say, but it does, and it’s probably going to get even creepier until you fall asleep.

    You’ve discovered your tea ‘limit’

    Until this point you never knew how many cups of tea you drink in a single day. It’s seven. For everybody, it’s seven.

  • Pub Garden Etiquette: Because it’s Getting Near That Time Already!

    beer-garden

    We love a good pub here at MixingOut, and with the weather beginning to turn and a hint of clarion in the air – okay, maybe we’re jumping the gun there – we’re already picturing ourselves sat outside, cold drink in hand, meeting people and having a good time.

    That’s right, we’re talking about beer gardens, that good old British institution that makes drinking outside socially acceptable. And what better way to kick things off than with a brief lesson in pub garden etiquette.

    Thou Will Wear Sunglasses, Even When it’s Cloudy

    Whether the sun is blazing or sulking behind a reef of ominous-looking clouds, wearing sunglasses is an absolute MUST. It’s a scientific fact that wearing sunglasses makes you 75% cooler in the eyes of other people, especially the opposite sex. And this figure has been thought to rise whilst wearing sunglasses at night.

    Populate Your Table With ‘Trophies’

    Every empty glass is a marker for how much of a good time you and your friends are having, so display them proudly on the table. You should be aiming for ‘absolute clutter’ to the point where it’s almost impossible to set another drink down or liberally move your elbows.

    Impose Your Sporting Ideologies On Other People

    If there’s a game on then for god’s sake let EVERYBODY ELSE know about it. You’re not a real man unless you’re donning your team’s colours and shouting abuse at professional athletes on the projector screen. You may have moobs/a scrawny physique, but nobody will question your masculinity when you’re shrieking like a Viking.

    Pick The Largest Table With The Parasol, Even if There’s Only Two Of You

    Large groups of people can just collect chairs and crowd themselves around a smaller table, whispering amongst themselves between shooting you seething glances. It’s not your problem. An ideal ratio for picking the biggest, best-shaded table is 3 of them for every 1 of you.

    If You Can’t See Your Car From Where You’re Sitting, Move

    The biggest advantage of sitting outside in a beer garden is that you can check on your car every five or six minutes, just to make sure it’s still ‘okay’. If for some reason you have to awkwardly crane your neck or get up out of your seat to view it, then insist on moving to another table – even if this means upsetting everybody else with you.

  • 2015 Oscar Winners We Want to Hang Out With

    If only to brag about attending a red carpet event, we’d love to make friends with some of this year’s Oscar winners. We can just picture it now; invites to A-list parties, rubbing shoulders with the Hollywood elite, and then onto some trendy LA club where the overpriced drinks menu is carved out of ice and somebody somewhere is wearing sunglasses even though it’s pitch black. That’s when you know you’ve definitely made it in life.

    Best Female to Have On Your Side in a Scrap – Patricia Arquette

    pic.one

    The Best Supporting Actress winner gave a stirring speech when accepting her award, fighting the cause for gender equality in Hollywood. Imagine her reaction to you getting some unwanted attention from some drunken loser the next time the two of you hit a club. She’d probably smash him (or her, if you’re a bloke) over the head with her trophy and stick it where the sun don’t shine. God forbid they lose your coat in the cloak room.

    Best Male for Sharing in Some Banter – JK Simmons

    pic.two

    Most people will recognise JK as shouty newspaper editor J.Jameson from the original Spiderman trilogy. But this year’s best Supporting Actor winner has played numerous fast-foul-mouthed characters throughout his career – verbally cutting other onscreen actors down to size with his quick wit and comic delivery. We can’t imagine indulging in a little ‘friendlier’ banter with anybody funnier.

    Best Best Friend Ever. Period. – Baymax (Big Hero 6)

    pic.three

    We all wanted a robotic friend growing up. I don’t care how cool you think you were as a kid, every single one of us would have given anything for a walking, talking, animatronic best bud. Baymax from Big Hero 6 is an inflatable cyborg who just wants to help people – a little bit like the bigger brother who programmed him in the movie – and would make all other human acquaintances obsolete: “Goodbye, we’ve found ourselves the coolest mate ever!”

  • 4 Things Nobody Tells You About Making Friends When You’re a Grown-Up

    1. Every night is “you’re not going out tonight” night

    Remember when you were little? You’d make plans to meet up with your friends after school and then as soon as you got home you’d hear “you’re not going out tonight” from your mum and dad. Maybe they had other plans, maybe you did something wrong, or maybe they just wanted to keep a close eye on you.

    Well, now every night is like that. Family, work, kids, rent, bills… going out can be tricky for us responsible grown-ups. We can’t be as spontaneous as we used to be. Luckily, MixingOut is here to makes things a little bit easier.

    2. Your awesome toy collection isn’t going to impress anyone

    Okay, that’s not entirely true. There might be a few guys and (possibly) girls out there who are really interested in your Mint Condition Death Star – but generally speaking these are subjects to avoid bringing up in a grown-up conversation. Instead prepare to discuss mortgage rates and the best place to buy a decent coffee table.

    3. Crashing at someone’s house isn’t cool anymore

    When you were a student living in a grubby flat, crashing on random people’s sofas was as much a part of the norm as waking up in the middle of the afternoon. Try that now with somebody you’ve only just met, and they’re likely to give some spare change for a cup of tea and walk the other way.

    4. You’ve got to make the most of the free time you have

    If you really want a fulfilling social life now that you’re an adult, there can be no room for forgoing opportunities to go out and meet friends. When you were younger, you had all the free time in the world. Now life is a whole lot busier, you need to find those moments to enjoy yourself and make them count.

  • Your Social Life Horoscopes for This Month

    what-if-your-horoscope-said-youd-stop-believing-in-horoscopes

    ARIES – Don’t be surprised this weekend, when you and a group of friends attend a remote theme park in the middle of the Pacific filled with genetically engineered dinosaurs and things go awry. Your lucky numbers include the telephone number of the national coast guard.

    TAURUS – A friendship with a fellow Taurus will lead to an embarrassing situation when both of you arrive dressed as bulls at an up and coming Halloween party. Find yourself a backup costume.

    GEMINI – A close friend will be there when your partner breaks up with you – and then takes him/her for themselves. Don’t worry though, you’ll laugh about it one day over a drink and a loaded rifle.

    CANCER – While it’s true that you’re a stable, reliable individual, don’t let your best friend use you as a table at his next dinner party. Go shopping for furniture instead.

    LEO – Born under a wandering star, instinct leads you to explore new territories and form tight friendships by joining a gang. Approach this avenue with caution, though, these people take loyalty very seriously.

    VIRGO – Don’t worry: that bungee jumping trip you’ve arranged will go smoothly, on the way down. Coming back up may prove problematic.

    LIBRA – Next week there’ll be an opportunity to do something impulsive and very out of character with your friends. Keep a close eye out for any unattended security vans parked outside of the bank.

    SCORPIO – You’re going to be very, very busy this month supporting a close Libra friend in the middle of a serious court battle. Don’t get your hopes up.

    SAGITTARIUS – Whilst you fancy a quiet weekend, your friends will want to do something a little more exciting. A compromise leads to coffee and cake on white water rapids.

    CAPRICORN – There’s going to be a number of social events cropping up over the next few weeks. It’s a pity you’re not invited.

    AQUARIUS – Don’t stay in and watch television this weekend. Get out and meet some new people. Then bring them home and you can all watch TV together.

    PISCES – Today you’re going to make friends with somebody on the bus. You won’t want to, he just won’t leave you alone.

  • Making Friends, In The Interest of Self Preservation

    iStock_000018991270Small

    Now and again we like to strap on our thinking caps here at MixingOut. And without getting too deep about the whole thing, there’s definitely an element of meeting new people and making friends that serves us in good stead, philosophically speaking. We’re ‘social animals’ and hardwired to seek out human companionship. Friendships have benefited us from the moment we first learned to walk upright and step outside of our caves.

    But what about today? It’s not as if we’ve got giant wooly mammoths and sabre toothed tigers to contend with nowadays. Self preservation has shifted from survival to spiritual harmony. And if magazines, television and movies have taught us anything (because that’s pretty much where our researchers get all their information from) here’s precisely what we mean:

    Friends will give you new and exciting experiences

    Did you ever see The Hangover? How about The Goonies? All the great adventures begin with one thing: friendship. Why, even The Lord of The Rings begins with a gang of tiny buddies drinking in a tavern. You might not end up scaling the mountains of Mordor, but having an active social life is likely to give you new and exciting experiences.

    Friends will help you overcome heartbreak

    There’s fewer things more painful than a broken heart this day and age. Thankfully our friends are there to pick us up when we’re at our lowest. Read any copy of Cosmopolitan or catch any episode of any US sitcom ever. Failing that, watch Swingers, perhaps the funniest movie about friendship and heartache.

    Friends will help you succeed at work

    No, we’re not talking about that hilarious Pepsi advert where the lead’s friends help him rig a job interview so that he gets the job. Provided your mates aren’t keeping you out till all hours, having a fulfilling social life can make you happier and more productive at work.

  • 5 Facebook Friends Everybody Has But Nobody Wants

    hashtag

    1. The #Hashtagger

    No longer satisfied with Twitter as a means of spreading their pretentious, internet-assembled philosophies, these social media hipsters are now intent on ruining Facebook for everybody too. Trying to remain friends with somebody who constantly uses hashtags on Facebook is like trying to convince yourself that you’re not in a miserable, loveless relationship. Get rid of them now!

    2. The ‘smashed that meal’ poster

    Sometimes they’re ‘eating clean’ or ‘bulking like a beast’, but in the end it’s just taking a photo of whatever’s in front of them and letting everybody know they’ve finished their meal – what are you, six? Need permission to move on to your pudding? Not until you’ve deleted all these pictures from your account, you can’t!

    gym-facebook

    3. The gym-checker

    Apparently, some people can’t go more than an hour without telling us about their ‘need to go to the gym and workout’. Let’s just hope they don’t feel the same about going to the toilet – it all amounts to same thing in our opinion, a load of old… bowel movements.

    4. The ‘political selfie’ poster

    These do-gooders find something different to rant about every week, like picking a T-Shirt, just so they can wear it and show it off, in an effort to appear ‘more enlightened’ in the eyes of their friends. We’re not saying being opinionated is a bad thing, but when you’re doing it for purely narcissistic reasons, it’s about as irritating as posting a selfie.

    facebook-update

    5. And our personal favourite

    The older relative who tries to ‘check-in’ on nephews and nieces by commenting on their most recent posts, rather than just making a new wall post or sending a private message. That’s one sure way to look way cool in front of your friends.